Interior Catholic

  • Anniversary

    I’m updating the blog earlier this week to celebrate my Confirmation anniversary!

    This day a year ago, I was busy both freaking out and being overly excited. I’d likened Confirmation day to a wedding—it’s often said the couple barely remembers the day itself, for all the stress and prep that goes into it. So I was determined not to. I remember most distinctly pulling into the mostly-empty parish parking lot, staring up at the building through a foggy windshield. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be. I was mostly concerned with all the people that were meeting me there, rather than the sacrament itself. That part, at least, I knew wouldn’t go wrong. Later, after the Mass and the congratulations and the cake, my car smelled like chrism oil for a week.

    From the moment I decided to convert, I likened it to a journey—one that had begun many years prior. Confirmation itself wasn’t the end of the journey, and I knew that at the time, too. I think of all I’ve experienced this past year, and it doesn’t seem possible. I started my post-Confirmation life with a silent retreat. We sat around the dinner table on the first night, doing introductions before the “silent” part began, and I proudly declared that I’d been Catholic for only two weeks. I had a lot of surrogate Godmothers that weekend. They all watched over me, proud that I attended any and every service I could.

    I’ve joined a local parish, attending their Bible studies and getting involved in the music ministry. I learned to play handbells and offered my flute in a prayer service. I continue to visit different parishes for different services, from daily and Sunday Mass, to the Stations during Lent, to Adoration and prayer. I’m still learning what works best for me, and where. But I’m in no rush, because I’ve had so many different experiences during this time.

    I’ve read a lot of books over this time. A lot. From saints, to publications by various popes, to fellow converts, to religious history. I’ve acquired more books than I can read, both purchasing them myself and from others. I added several new Bibles in different translations to my shelf. I’m inspired in my own writing, filling several journals and starting my own prayer intention book. I’ve composed prayers and poetry. I’ve been consistent in updating this blog most weeks.

    I’ve traveled to Rome, waved to Pope Francis, and purchased a rosary in the Vatican gift shop that smells like roses. I’ve worshipped at churches in Assisi. I’ve hiked mountains with Catholic friends while reciting prayers.

    If that was all in a single year, how is God going to top that?

    I begin year two in the midst of three books. I’m learning more of our Jewish foundation, and garnering wisdom from the saints. I’ve started jotting down notes to finally write the story of my journey, even if those “notes” are just a preliminary title. I don’t know what will happen in year two. But I know it’s gonna be good, if year one is just the beginning.

  • St. Hildegard

    The local classical station has been showcasing female composers, a show I’ve caught several times the past week in late-night drives home. After one particularly moving piece of music, the host returned to say, “That music is nine hundred years old!” Which brought me to learn of Hildegard von Bingen, a 12th-century Benedictine nun that I gathered must be a saint. (As later learned, I was right.)

    St. Hildegard did it all—she penned books of poetry and medicine; she wrote liturgical music; she preached and taught. She founded multiple monasteries in Germany, and is considered the founder of natural history in that country. It wasn’t until 2012 that she was formally recognized as a saint and Doctor of the Church. (Over 800 years after her death, if you’re doing the math.)

    Her most ambitious and largest work is Scivias, where she records and interprets the visions she’d had since early childhood. The book covers everything from Creation and God’s relationship with man, to redemption through Christ, to the history of salvation. And this inspired her musical works, too.

    Of all Medieval composers, St. Hildegard’s is one of the largest repertoires to survive. Despite her vast amount of liturgical music, one of her most popular works is Ordo Virtutum, a morality play. It’s still based in religion, so she doesn’t veer too far from her norm. (My favorite detail in the play is the Devil, who doesn’t have any music at all in his part—he shouts his lines instead.)

    As expected, being a mystic with visions didn’t come without some controversy. Her monastery had permitted the burial of a man who’d been excommunicated—much displeasing to others in the Church—but Hildegard insisted that he’d repented. She also confronted the Roman Emperor for supporting several antipopes. And she challenged the Cathars, an gnostic movement, for their incorrect views of Christianity.

    Unlike most saints, she seems to have lived a long and prosperous life. She died at age 81, no small feat during the Middle Ages. Interest in her life has piqued recently, for her views on faith and holistic medicine. Her music, too, is certainly notable enough for inclusion in a “women composers” showcase (and not just because it’s the oldest). These weren’t just topics relevant to her era—they’re relevant now, still. A YouTube search provides countless hours of her music, and Scivias covers… nearly everything. (You know that’s going on my to-read list.) Also, with women seldom having vocal roles during her lifetime, she’s something of a role model.

    She also has a minor planet named after her—898 Hildegard—so that’s pretty cool.

    “Sometimes when we hear a song we breathe deeply and sigh. This reminds the prophet that the soul arises from heavenly harmony. In thinking about this, he was aware that the soul itself has something in itself of this music.”
    —St. Hildegard

    ,

And they said to him, “Inquire of God, we pray thee, that we may know whether the journey on which we are setting out will succeed.”

And the priest said to them, “Go in peace. The journey on which you go is under the eye of the LORD.”

—Judges 18:5–6

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