Interior Catholic

  • The “What Now”

    What does post-Confirmation life entail? The excitement of the day has passed; I’ve experienced the overwhelming support and joy of the Church and my new extended family. I’ve visited countless different parishes and worshiped with countless different groups. I’ve gone on a spiritual retreat. I’ve emerged into my new life ready and raring to go.

    And then? I had to settle back into my “real” life.

    I was inundated with spiritual matters prior to Confirmation. I had to be—to make sure I was doing the right thing. To listen closely to God and His guidance. But once I settled into my new life, both in the Church and in a new town, I had to get back into the world. I had to work. Clean my apartment. Do all those grown-up things. And little by little, my studies weren’t daily anymore. I didn’t write in my prayer journal as often. I still didn’t have a local parish.

    I felt alive at Mass, even as I continued visiting various parishes. Each Sunday morning was a mini homecoming, the relief at being able to spend that undistracted time with God. Recently, I found myself in Manhattan again. I couldn’t resist the chance to stop by St. Patrick’s Cathedral, where I’d spent so much time when I’d worked down the street. And I realized it was the first time I’d been there since Confirmation. Talk about a homecoming.

    But with each case, I had to leave.

    What now? Where is the balance? How am I supposed to integrate all that I learned, and all that I’ve come to love, into the life He’s given me? My place is in the secular world, but how do I bring God into that? It’s harder than before, somehow. I didn’t have a lot to work with in the before. Now, I have the entire Church behind me and it seems impossible to weave that into an already jam-packed life.

    But we start… somewhere. It started with getting up early to pray. To getting back to my prayer journal. It started with a rambling email to my sponsor asking, “What now?” (You thought you were off the hook after Confirmation, didn’t you?) I don’t know what to do. But figuring it out is part of the journey, too.

  • Personal Intention Book

    It’s easy enough to agree to pray for those in need. Someone, somewhere, has a relative, friend, or mere acquaintance they want to pray for, and it’s natural to request that others pray for them, too. “Of course I’ll pray for them,” we say, and might remember to actually do it. But then we stop praying for them. Or we forget we made that promise. Or it’s just a quick prayer right after claiming you’ll do it, just to alleviate the guilt for when you do forget.

    I liked the idea of the intention book. Instead of there being a prayer chain (no one can keep up with so many phone calls and texts), parishioners jot down their prayers in one massive tome instead. And, unlike the prayer chain, it’s there forever. Because even if someone is healed, or gets through a difficult situation, or whatever the case may be, they still have things going on. They still need God’s graces.

    So I started my own intention book. I can’t remember everyone I want to pray for. I feel bad when I forget someone. But by recording their names in that book, they remain in my prayers forever. Occasionally, I’ll add another name to the book. And I’ll flip through the existing names, to keep them close to me. I don’t record their needs. I don’t know their needs. But God does, and He doesn’t need my lame attempts at remembering what they are. Simply sending their names up to Him are enough.

    The best part? It reduces the chance of forgetting someone. Even if I’m tired, or don’t have time that day to sit down and pray as I’d like to, I can simply reference the book. Some people might see this as cheating. I’m not mentioning anyone by name in those times. But at one point, I took the time to record them in that book at all. And they’re not just my friends—some are people I barely know. Some are people I’m not friends with anymore. But that doesn’t make them any less important. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve our prayers, or don’t deserve God’s healing.

    The parish intention book is great. But having my own personal book makes my prayers my own. During Mass, when we offer our silent prayers, I may mention some people by name. I may always mention the same few people by name. But also, in that time of quiet, I offer up everyone in that little book of mine. Because there’s not enough time in the world to pray for them by name, and every one of them deserves it.

And they said to him, “Inquire of God, we pray thee, that we may know whether the journey on which we are setting out will succeed.”

And the priest said to them, “Go in peace. The journey on which you go is under the eye of the LORD.”

—Judges 18:5–6

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